With Reluctance

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It’s how I’ve been going into this whole holiday season – with reluctance.

We didn’t put up a tree, we haven’t dug out any of our Christmas boxes. I didn’t start in August, working diligently with a well crafted list to get my homemade holiday gifts prepped and ready. We’ve been dragging our feet and have allowed the season to move right over us.

Even in the midst of Advent services, Christmas music filling the air, and gift wrapping it still doesn’t feel like the holidays. Is it the tragedy and loss that has us reluctant to embrace this time of year? Is it the lack of snow? Is it our own distraction? I haven’t decided yet.

What I did decide is that we need to start embracing the season or the joy of it will be gone and lost before we even look up. What I did decide is that even with tragedy and loss there is still joy to be found. Even as we pray over a world full of pain and heartache we can find joy.

We. Can. Find. Joy.

Last night our family got together to decorate my in-laws’ Christmas tee. We pulled out new lights and vintage ornaments – oh those ornaments make me smile in all their faded glass glory. It is the season of gathering with family, with friends. The season of remembering to say we love you, remembering to be thankful and share your life with others.

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On our way home I asked my guy if we could go light spying. We live in such a beautiful city, we have lots of favorite houses to visit. Lots of wonder to find and joy to feel when we see all that sparkle and shine.

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It was lovely, those moments of driving and looking and enjoying a simple little thing. A simple tradition we’re blessed not to forget even in our distraction, even while we mourn.

So, I’ve been heading into these final days of 2012 with reluctance. Now it’s time to look up. I’m encouraging myself, and you too -go and do. Look for the joy.

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About Stephanie

I'm a thirty-something wife, a Mama who loves family, dogs & bunnies. A daughter who loves to cook & bake. A sister who loves to sew & knit. A friend who loves to gab & laugh. I'm a christian & a maker of things. I'm a curator of memories, a photographer of life, a writer of stories. I'm a girl who is learning to love the richness of life in all it's fullness. A girl choosing to seek gratitude for my ordinary everyday. A girl learning about choosing to live in joy. Connect with me on Twitter/Instagram/Flickr @BextraordinaryU

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