Photo collage above from week in the life, Saturday.
I should start this long story (I tried to condense it!) with some background…
My guy and I have been married since 2007. Six months after we got married, and lots of prior thought, I went to my Dr and said “I think I have a problem and can’t get pregnant”. To which they replied “Don’t be silly, you are young, you just started trying, give it time, relax, it’ll happen, sometimes it takes a year or two.” To which I sort of thought they should know, ok.
Fast forward a year from that day I went to a new Dr. who asked me if my original Dr had ever even done any tests. Um, no, just my standard yearly eval. She immediately ordered a bunch of blood work. We discovered I have hypothyroidism, and I was put on meds. She’d figured we’d give that six months, you know, it should fix the problem.
At home I was taking prenatal vitamins and we were doing everything we could think of to help the situation. Lay inverted, check. Temperature time your ovulation, check. Face the east, stand on one leg, hop backwards…At the two year mark we still had not conceived.
I was referred to a specialist. Since there’s no bio medical type issue maybe it’s physical. The new specialist Dr did an exam and said we should go ahead and ‘take a look’. I had laproscopic exploratory surgery and a D&C. The testing and surgery results came back normal. And I was told many times this procedure kick starts the process. They wouldn’t be surprised if I was pregnant in just a few months.
We’ve been married six years.
I’ve never been pregnant. All the ‘should be able to’s in the world hasn’t changed that fact. I’m at a new Dr now, still all my testing comes back looking great.
It’s time for a new plan.
Before we were married the guy and I had talked about adoption. We were both on board. We thought we’d have a kid and then adopt one or two. Of course God has laughed at that plan. We looked at adoption before, a few years ago, and discovered that we might have a couple road blocks in our way. What I then found out was that every adoption agency has different rules, different regulations, require different things. Yes, we’d have road blocks with some agencies and with some types of adoption, but not all.
A couple months ago I noticed a post on Facebook that was talking about embryo adoption. Something just sparked. I began my research again. I came across an adoption agency right here in Colorado that pioneered embryo adoption in the nineties. I decided we needed to go to a seminar and get some info. And we did. Nightlight Christian Adoption does four kinds of adoption procedures: domestic, international, foster to adopt, and embryo. We got the low-down on all of them, we choose embryo adoption. A process where we would adopt frozen embryos from couples who had gone through IVF, had their family, and had extra embryos at the end of their process. Then I would get to carry those embryos and give birth to our child.
Why embryo adoption?
Because in the process of dealing with the roller coaster of emotions that you go through with infertility I discovered I was never ready to give up on being pregnant. I realize our choices didn’t necessarily mean that I was really giving up but it felt that way. In every part of me it felt that way, even though logically I knew that’s not really true. So, we want to adopt, but I also want to experience pregnancy and child birth. Biology means very little to my guy and I, our children don’t need to have our genes to be ours. I don’t have to give birth for that to also be true, but this is where my heart is it seems. And, I don’t know about you but I have never been successful in talking my heart out of what it wants. Embryo adoption here we come!
The decision was easy, so let’s talk about the hard part. The reality of adoption is this; it’s not fast, it’s a long process with a million steps. It’s also not cheap. Although there is a payment plan those increments are not small change. Think $2500 and a few months later $3500 and a few months later $5000. We really need to have this money ready to go at the beginning of the process.
So, here’s one of the things we are doing. I am reopening my Etsy shop Honor Crowned Crafts for the purpose of fundraising for our adoption. All the money from that venture goes straight to our savings account earmarked for this process. What we need is $15,000. That money will pay for the embryo adoption program, a home study, and the medical expenses incurred after we adopt the embryos.
We could get this money easily and create a large debt for ourselves, but I want to earn it. It would mean so much to me to know that my handmade items helped us do this. That my passion helped us achieve our dream, to have a child. So, the Etsy shop is active and I’m going to begin adding new items to stock the store. You’ll see quilted journal covers, zippy pouches and project bags, quilts, and handknits filling up there soon. (Just as soon as I get to a computer that let’s me upload those photos! Today, I hope!) Stop by, take a peek, shop for Christmas. If you don’t see anything that strikes your fancy pass along the word, check back next month, or best of the best pray for our family as we take the first steps to adding to it.
Oh, and come back here to check in with our journey. I’ll be talking about the steps we take towards this future for sure. 🙂
Oh! I forgot to mention..I wasn’t the only one seeing Dr’s. My sweet husband had his own brand of humbling tests done along the way. Wouldn’t want you to think we left out a key player! Oops.