I think of motherhood like a club I always wanted to join but thought I’d never be allowed. I used to see mamas out with their littles and be so jealous. I wanted that; I wanted to use secret mom language and have super powers. Now that I’m four months deep into this adventure I don’t know that I developed any super powers but I feel pretty excited to have finally joined the club.
Amara is growing and changing so fast I feel like I’m trying to hang on to these baby days while they fly by in a mad rush to childhood. The sleep deprivation in our house is righting itself now and making the adults feel much more normal. I still cross my fingers when people ask if she sleeps through the night though. These eight hours of uninterrupted sleep are so new I’m expecting the gift to be snatched back at any moment. We’re careful not to take each night for granted, anticipating a sleep regression and teething to shake things up soon enough.
I’m not ashamed to admit that I don’t miss early baby days. I love an interactive kid even as I find myself worn out at the end of a day of entertaining and feeding and comforting. Going from a lot of alone time pre-baby to very little of it now has been quite the adjustment for me. I find myself talking more than I ever did before. Narrating my life with her from ‘hello, good morning’ to ‘good night, my love’. She’s started babbling back sometimes. Amara is like most people; sometimes she’s having a talkative day and sometimes not. I love it when she does. She seems so pleased to get her breathy baby language out into the world.
I’ve had a lot of back/nerve pain so I started physical therapy this week in hopes it’ll help me. It’s pretty awful to pick her up and need to wait for shocking leg pain to stop before I can move. I want to spend more time moving and playing with her and not limping and frustrated about how much pain I’m in. I’m hoping to be better by the time she’s really moving! She still shows little interest in rolling over and all the interest in being helped to sit up and stand. She can army crawl her way across her crib and we see her beginning to try to figure out how to get where she wants to go. I think as soon as her arms and legs learn to work together she’ll be off to see the world.
Every day Amara shows more interest in toys and books. She shows a preference for things that you present to her for entertainment. She’s a fan of Dr. Suess, her talking Leap Frog phone, and her Oball. She loves to people watch; taking her to restaurants is usually a pretty good experience if she can look all around. She now sits in the big seat of her stroller instead of in her infant seat on top and that’s made a big difference in going out when I can’t carry her for long periods of time. She still dislikes her carseat and protests getting strapped down. Luckily, the protests are generally short-lived once we get moving.
I thought I’d be updating here more often than once a month but I’m finding that so much of what I thought I’d be doing is not getting done. I haven’t done any crafting in a very long time, it now takes me weeks to read a book of my own, and my scrapbook supplies have been sitting on the shelf. I envy those moms who seem to stick to a schedule and get lots of things done. Our days are mostly fluid around here, hopefully I’ll learn to be better at making and sticking to schedules as we grow. I’m making a list of activities to help add some structure to our days, though currently sorting out how to have consistant naps is our little project. Currently AJ tends to take lots of little short naps and I’m hoping she’ll move to take longer more consistent ones over the next month.
We’re excited to celebrate holidays with our girl and to begin to introduce traditions. Things are so much more fun and exciting with Amara on our team. Finding just the right Easter book for her to help her learn about what it’s all about is purposeful shopping. We think about what toys would maximize both entertainment but also education. We want to share our favorite things with her and love watching her learn about her world. It just keeps getting better and better, my friends. Those big answered prayers and big dreams coming true is the best of my days.